Woulda Coulda Shoulda:

I should be taking more pictures.  I could be huge if I would just put pen to paper and get this novel started.  And it would be awesome if I could peel myself off this couch, clean off the blood on my lip from being beaten with a toy car and shower.  To wash away the day.  The tantrums and hitting.  The longest day.  Ever.  It needs to be washed off.  All of it.
I need to get my dreams out in the air and real.  I need to start this novel.  To research possible careers I’m interested in, to move.  I need to move first.  So I can get to Omaha and be with Ryan.  To kiss him and smell him.  To be so surrounded by love.  That’s what should happen first.  Then the writing.  The photographing. The doing.
Tonight I’m so tired and so anxious writing is my relief.  It’s in the details.  The lines the letters that scrawl across the page.  It’s in the way my fingers flow over the keys.  Graffiti with punctuation.  Calming my with every keystroke.  An outlet.  I should be happy.  I should be over the moon.  I want to crawl into the fetal position and just be there already so I can smile again.
This post is chaos.

I'm 26. Lost and in transition. I don't have the answers, just thoughts.