Be Still:

My heart is pounding.  It’s hitting me more and more each day. Reality.  I’m about to move out of my comfort zone to live with my boyfriend in Omaha. I’ve never lived with anyone unless it was my family.  And I don’t want Ryan to ever think I’m mooching or being lazy, I can’t always be on though.  Sometimes a girl just shuts off. Flickers her spark off.
I mean, I’ve never farted in front of him.  Let alone pooped or thrown up, or been sick or any of that.  Although, it’s nasty.. it’s human nature.  And people who live together learn to live with that too.
I’m more excited to be with him in the middle of corn and flat lands than I ever dreamed as a girl of living by the ocean.  I’ve romanticized the crap out of that one.  And now, reality is, I’m moving to Nebraska. And I can’t wait. I’m more excited than a tornado in a trailer park to be with Ryan.  To get a new job as whatever I can find.  To learn to cook more and try new things.  I’m excited for that part of growing up.
There’s the other stuff like money and actually finding a job that worry me.  But Ryan is so positive and lets me know it’ll be okay.
I don’t know what Omaha is like.  I don’t know what living with another human who isn’t family is going to be like.  I’m nervous.  More so today than ever.  But I’m also more excited and my heart skips beats, it flutters out of my chest up my throat when I think, in just 14 days, I get to wake up next to my boyfriend ever single morning after.  And there’s no loss of magic in that.  I’d flicker on even brighter for that.

I'm 26. Lost and in transition. I don't have the answers, just thoughts.