Loving:

Ryan is the love of my life.  I know it’s cheesy and you probably just rolled you eyes, but this is my blog so you can sit there and be happy for me.  And when you find what I found, you tell me all about it and I’ll listen to your rant with adoration and happiness for you.  Deal?
Anyway, Ryan is the one. Out of seven billion people, of all walks of life, my soul mate happens to also be my Kindergarten sweetheart, my first kiss and my absolute world.
He makes me laugh every day.  He treats me like I’m a princess.  He listens, I mean actually listens to what I say. And no matter the magnitude of my faults, my OCD or anxiety, my dislike of foods mingling on my plate, my strong dislike for my haircut.  All of my nonsense, he doesn’t mind.  He helps me through it all.  But what kills me is he is actively wanting to help and support me, love me and be there for me.  I’m not trying to win him over in any way, he is just already there.  Loving me.  And it blows my mind because to me, he is magnificent and absolutely wonderful.
We had a serious talk today for 45 minutes in which we held nothing back of our views on marriage.  I’ve never had a talk about something so serious yet so exciting and fun.  It’s real.  What we have.  And we have big plans to do things right for us and our relationship.  Serious talks before we delve into a whole life together.  About raising kids, handling money, faith-you know the heaviest of heavy topics.  But we’re moving towards a life together.  Marriage.
We’re both dead set on doing things right because neither of us want to get divorced ever.  To me, especially, who has parents that have been married for 29 years, it’s a serious thing.  I refuse to get divorced.  We will work together as a team through problems that arise.  Not run away from them and call it, “irreparable differences,”  that’s a cop-out and you all know it.  And with Ryan, I see us working through anything.  Because it really is love.  And we both want this to work, we know there will be problems, arguments and even tears.  Stress and drama.  But to us, to me, it all seems doable especially with and for him.  For a future with Ryan.
And this may be the cheesiest post ever.  I do apologize, but I really wanted you all to know that I’m happy with my life.  I really am.  I’m still in debt, and sometimes am miserable at work, I wish I knew where Ryan was being moved and some days just simply suck.  But honestly, I’m so blessed and excited for these next few chapters in my life, because not only are we taking the steps it takes to get to know each other, and by no means rushing ourselves.  We’re fully capable of taking on this huge and exciting leap together.  We are very aware that love isn’t everything.  I’m no idiot, you should no that by now.  But the fact that this conversation occurred blows me away.  I’ve never been so comfortable with my own family the way I am with him.  And the fact that his heart picked mine and mine picked his, is a lucky miracle.
If ever I was hopeful and ready for the future, tonight is the night.
Ryan, I love you and I am so thankful we click and make our relationship ours.  Not society’s, not our parents’ or friends’, but ours.  Our love is genuine and I am so ready for the tomorrows after tomorrow.  When I was never sure of them before.  Thank you.

I'm 26. Lost and in transition. I don't have the answers, just thoughts.