Reverie:

It was like a daydream.  When we talk about things that are coming it scares me but comforts me all the same.  When he says, “And when we live together.”  I get butterfly lava in my belly.
Ryan, le garçon de mes rêves, AKA le boyfriend, has had 8 interviews so far with huge construction companies that work around the globe.  Prestigious companies that build bridges and skyscrapers… And recently we were discussing what happens when he gets a final answer and has to move for the position.  There is no doubt in my mind that that day will indeed come, probably faster than I am willing to say I am ready for, because he’s talented and smart and absolutely qualified for the jobs in which he’s applying.  But there’s no work in Colorado currently in his specific field.  So, one of these large companies would hire him on a project elsewhere.
Which means he’d be even farther than the 2 hours away from me he already is.        Which means yours truly will be very sad for a few weeks when this happens.  And it will.
But we talked about after a time when he’s settled and in a good routine and wants me to move with him.
Statistically speaking, I understand couples that live together before they’re married tend to divorce more, but divorce happens more often than it ever has no matter what.  My sister lives with her boyfriend, they’ve been together over 2 years.  My parents lived together before they married, they’ve been together over 28 years.  So, I won’t listen to your stupid banter.  I’m a grown ass woman and I’ve seen it done successfully.
It’s all about communication and honesty.  We talk all the time.  About everything.  From weather, to upcoming date nights, to poop and babies, and politics and even religion.  We talk about it all.  Boobs, guns, stupid high school twats, family, food, upset stomachs from said food, money, fears, goals, dreams, school, work, masturbation, spices, songs, am I getting across to you?  Ryan and I talk.  There are no secrets, just love and plans.  Support and perspective, cheering and a little fun-poking.  But the point is, when we talk about big things like moving in together, it makes me excited.
Because I’ve never been so gut-sure about a guy.  Ever.  I’ve always had doubts or red flags.  With Ryan, it’s life.  Like it’s meant to be.  And it’s a day-dream come true.  He’s my one.  And you can judge all you want little haters.  Because you’re entitled to that I suppose, just know I won’t give up on you finding your one.   I’m just glad I have a man in my life who feels like it’s necessary to treat me like a queen, talk to me about everything, make me laugh, give me a swift kick to reality, and somehow manage to not get sick of me or my sarcasm.  And we’re adults. We handle life accordingly.  I’m so proud of him for all his hard work.  It’ll pay off soon, and we’ll cross bridges I’m sure.  But we’ll do it together and that’s the most important thing.

Ryan, if you’re reading this, I love you.  J’taime.  Te amo.

I'm 26. Lost and in transition. I don't have the answers, just thoughts.